The Spawn of Ron Howard off of Happy Days.

I never watched Happy Days.

Never seen a clip even, I don’t think, except the Shark thing. Shark thing’s is funny.

But anyway, I was thinking about Spider-Man. And I was thinking about Spider-man 3 and I was like ‘that crane bit was weird with that Gwen chick… wait… i recognise that chick from my memory… fucker… that gwen chick is that chick from jurassic world…’ and then i was like ‘was it?’ so then I was like ‘i’m gonna google this… motherfucker… the bitch!’

So I already hated her for obvious reasons and now I find out she’s also the bitch that ruined ( yes I hate women what of it?) the otherwise stellar Spider-Man 3. Now that’s just too far.

You don’t ruin Tobey’s final outing as the Spider. He was on form then this blonde bitch ruins his MJ.

‘Oh I’ll try out for this role… I’d like to be in the film pictures… I liked the Spider-Mans…’ fuck you Bryce (more like Bruce cos she’s a man bitch). Say no! Tell them not to add Gwen like all the other actresses did that told them not to do the whole Gwen thing. I have to assume you weren’t the first one they offered it to. They’re not that incompetent. Unless Ron was sleeping with them to get you the job. You talentless bitch.

Have you ever done anything good Bruce? I don’t think you fucking have. You just ruin things. The Howard gene pool, once thought to be the red-headed answer to the Baldwins, ruined. Spiders, and Spider-based film franchises. And Jurassic World, a film that I once had excitement for. You ruiner. You bitch. I can’t believe you’re the same fucking and i never realised. You bitch. You just made my list and I haven’t looked at my list in years. It’s a bad list to be on. Joan Rivers was on it once cos she said Leo’s suit wasn’t nice then said something mean about Brad Pitt’s jacket (whilst herself looking like a turtle skin that’s been left stretching on a semen-drenched tanning rack in the sun for 7 months only to be placed over a raisin and called human only by the loosest definitions of the word) and she’s dead now.

Jurassic World would have been great if not for okay no it wouldn’t I fukcing hate it.

But I hate her too. Stop looking so upset by events you bitch. We get it, yes, opening your mouth does make it appear as though you are surprised by the action presented before you but stop being a vapid 21st century piece of shit you fucking sack of shit.

Your Dad is ashamed of you.


Top 10 Charities I Encourage you to support

  1. Water Filters for Frenchman
  2. Hilary Clinton
  3. Chinese Voluntary Migrants of Hull
  4. Politicians with Penises
  5. Doctors with Diseases
  6. Elephants without Earmuffs
  7. Teens without Guns
  8. Celebrities without Celtic tickets
  9. Asians without Arms
  10. Africans with Arthritis

The Kings and Queens no google

OKay… starting with my boy William I

WIlliam I

WIlilam II, th eoridgal son

Henry I

My boy Stephen, right? 1135 I just know that for no reason. I had a ruler with it on. I got this far.

New house…

My boy Henry II

Rick I

Johnathon as playe dby oscar Isaac

Russell Crowe

Henry III?

Ed I, II, III?

Then like Henry iv, v vi?

Rick II

Henry no not henry. I fucked it. I know that it goes rick III then henry vii then viii, then it’s easy from ther ebut i get confused her with the henrys and the eds.

Right, I’m gonna try for John, then russel crowe, then ed I, II, III, then henry III, Iv, then rick II

let’s try that.

then let’s switch it up, i think it does that. and i’ll go with henry V, henry Vi, edward 4, 5… aww no. this isn’t right either. aww fuck.

aww man. i knew t a  while back. if I wasn’t drunk i’d get this. fuck it.

anyway, it then goes rick 3

henry 7

henry 8

ed 6

mary bitch

elizabth the anti-slut

james I of england or james the gay of scotland


oliver cromwell cunt

rick cromwell

charlie 2

jim 2

then like mary II or something? confused with thes two chicks here.

then like anne or something? rule with will 3?

then like g money I, II, III, Iv…

will Iv…


edward geroge edward george

elizabeth the bitch.

Aww I’ve checked it now. I see where I went wrong. dumb fuck.


Dun Dun dunnnnnnnnnnnn. A review.

Remember it.

Revisit it.

Relive it.

The first time you heard it was probably as much an awakening for you as it was for every other individual exposed to its power. That sound… that sweet series of those bass notes… pure suspense, pure drama, pure life.

The first dun… the questions it raises. What is this? Why is this? When is this???

At that point, most people, according to scientists, are feeling 63% resentment towards the sound. WHo does this sound think it is? What is this musicla phrase? It thinks its so great. Well it’s not. It’s trash. I bet it’ll be trash. Is it just going to stop there? What kind of thing would do that? Is that even legal? What, murder gets you putin jail and that doesn’t? I find that sick and ooh there’s more…

The second dun. My god. A great second act. All questions stopped in their tracks, not answered, not just yet… we’ll wait for that. Oh how we’ll wait. Flipped. The twist. This note tells us that good things are worht waiting for. It tells us to work hard and to earn our payoffs. It teaches us that the night is darkest just before the dawn. Without this, the piece is mute.

Dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Woah. Woah. Well that… that… was worth the… wait. Tension is alive.





Words cannot describe it. Fuck it’s a good set of notes.

That’s my review. Yes I’m a fan.

Fresh off the rumour mill.

Game of Thrones show-runner David Benioff has candidly admitted that actress Maisie Williams has bad ‘anal hygiene’. “She barely wipes,” says Benioff. ” When we first started filming many of the actors and actresses working around her complained about a distinct foul smell emanating from her. It got to the point where we pleaded with her to wipe properly and use feminine hygiene products. She’s a sweet girl but I don’t think she was raised properly.” Photos of fecal stained pants and underwear allegedly belong to the Game of Thrones actress have surfaced. “I just don’t think its a big deal, its natural.” says Maisie, “if humans wasted time wiping their arse instead of enjoying life we would have died out a long time ago. Most people don’t even have to do it I think. Its not an issue for me I don’t think about it. People come up to me for autographs and pictures but then some of them make comments about ‘the odour’ and I just say I don’t smell anything. Its natural, its what humans are suppose to smell like. Get used to it.”